July 3

Today, we had the day off from work.  We decided to go into town again!  We didn't do much shopping today-- but we walked around and had lunch/drinks at the Kilimanjaro Coffee Lounge.  I had really good juice (passion fruit + tropical mix) and a really good salad--cucumbers, avocados, tomatoes, nuts, chicken, and lettuce [a salad does not mean lettuce not here, but it was included this time!]  That's really all I did today... We came home fairly early and then I worked out, took a nap, read for a little bit, and Mesha came over to hang out.  My days have been pretty chill and stress-free! 

June 26-July 2

Because dad commented on my status, I am including all my blogs from the past week condensed into this one post.  Sorry I haven't been updating this!  Our internet passwords expired at KCMC, and the computer labs aren't open everyday, so I don't bother walking there after work.  I am at an internet cafe in town right now, but even these aren't very reliable.  I have a lot of pictures to share, but I'm not putting any pics in this post because they take too long to load!! Sorry!!  The next time you see pics will be the occasional picture posted to facebook... otherwise, you'll probably have to wait until I'm home!

June 26:

I was feeling better today, but still had a stomachache.  Adrienne was still feeling pretty bad, so she didn’t go to work today.  Today is my day off, so even if I wasn’t feeling better, it wouldn’t have been a problem for me.  Grace, Rebecca, and I had previously agreed to go into town to buy some earrings and have lunch.  Ume got off work early, so she met up with us.  On the dala-dala ride this morning, we ran into Brighton who was our tour guide for our Kilimanjaro hike.  He had just gotten back from climbing all the way to the top!!  He showed us some pictures, which were pretty cool.  In town, we did a little bit of shopping and then wanted to go have lunch at this deli which we heard was good (not African food though).  We ended up not being able to find it, so we just had lunch at IndoItaliano instead.  My first meal in over 24 hours!! I was only able to eat ¼ of a salad though.  After lunch, we walked around a little bit more and then just decided to go home.  Back at home, I decided to lay down in bed and get some more rest.  Adrienne was also in bed-she had been all day.  For dinner, I told mama that I couldn’t eat much food and that I wanted something light.  She asked if bread was okay, and I said it was!  So for dinner I had some bread, and… a hot dog (which mama calls sausage).  Hopefully I feel 100% better tomorrow because I have work!

June 27/28:

Yesterday, only Heiness, Perpetua, and Elisia showed up.  I learned that Elisia is actually a very, very smart girl.  She was really good at all the educational activities in the morning, and the only one who could complete the daily activities with ease.  I feel like she could definitely go on to a vocational school.  In the afternoon, mama Denisia set up an obstacle-course challenge for the kids.  At the start, they had to play “lava” and walk on a path without touching the ground.  Next, they needed to throw a ball to knock over bottles (this resembled bowling).  Then, they had to jump rope one time, and lastly, they had to throw balls into a box.  Again, Elisia was the only one who could do this properly… and the other two lost interest very quickly.  After playing for a while, we had lunch—ugali, greens, and this really good sauce.  I wasn’t that hungry, but I forced myself to finish as much food as possible.  After lunch, we helped clean up and then we left.  Today, only Heiness and Perpetua showed up in the morning.  Halfway through the lesson, Dennis came.  His dad carried him inside (and Dennis is a big boy) and sat him down in his chair and made sure he was settled in fine.  It was so cute, and made me so happy and so sad at the same time.  You could tell how much his dad loved him, and his dad gave him a kiss on the head before leaving.  His brother and sister came to drop him off too.  It was really good to see that, because here in Tanzania there is such a stigma against people with disabilities, and those people are often neglected and the disability is ignored—so it was awesome to see how much Dennis’s dad cared about him and loved him.

For our reflection this week, we had to write down our highlight of the week.  Here is mine (which I wrote in reference to yesterday): 

The highlight of each of my days this week has been watching the children sing and dance to this one Kiswahili church song.  Every morning, the children go through the same routine.  After sweeping the dirt path and brushing their teeth, they sit down in the classroom for their morning lesson.  Each child takes turns saying what their name is, what the weather is outside, what day of the week it is, and what mood they are in.  This is followed by the very difficult task of placing foam letters in their proper places on a piece of paper, which has the letters outlined for them.  For example, Alhamisi, the Kiswahili word for “Thursday,” would be outlined on a sheet of paper.  The children are instructed to take each foam letter and put it in its appropriate place on the paper.  Elisia, one of the children with down syndrome, is very good at this activity; but unfortunately, the other children need a lot of assistance.  Other than Elisia, the children tend to place the foam letters upside down, sideways, or in the wrong placement altogether.  Although they are making a lot of mistakes, they are visibly giving forth their best effort and you can see the frustration on their faces when the caregiver tells them they have made a mistake. 

After the foam-letter activity, the children sing and dance to a church song.  After watching them struggle to complete the foam-letter activity, it brightens my day to watch them happily sing and dance.  Today, just like every other day, Mama Denisia (the main caregiver) disappeared from the classroom to retrieve “instruments” for each of us.  She returned and handed out a drum, maracas, saltshakers, and tambourines.  Only three children—Elisia, Heiness, and Perpetua—were there today; the others were sick or stayed at home for other reasons. 

Everyone was given an instrument except for Heiness, who prefers to use her hands.  Today, Perepetua was handed the drum and she immediately began banging it with the stick—keeping a perfect beat.  Heiness followed with her clapping, and the rest of us followed with our instruments.  Mama Denisia began singing and Elisia rose from her chair, stomping her feet and dancing.  Mama Denisia has a beautiful voice, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the lead singer in her church.  Elisia, without a trace of shyness, was dancing in the center of the classroom and soon joined mama with the vocals.  Heiness moved to be next to Elisia, and her clapping grew louder and became more enthusiastic as her head bobbed back and forth.  I—saltshaker in hand—was sitting at a desk next to Perpetua, who kept turning her head to look at me and grin.  All three children were genuinely happy and their smiles were incredibly contagious.  Mama Denisia led the children (and us—we had instruments too!) through two different songs, which lasted just under 10 minutes.  At the end of the second song, everyone clapped and cheered, celebrating a performance well done!

Rebecca, Grace, and I all said that watching them sing and dance made us very emotional because we felt so bad for them and their disabilities, but at the same time it was so great to see them happy and enjoying themselves so much!  Though they may not be able to line foam letters perfectly straight or right-side up on a sheet of paper, they were able to maintain a close-to-perfect rhythm and provide pretty good instrumentals for this church song.  It was a great performance today as it similarly was each of the other days, and it was so nice to see them delighted with themselves.   

After reflection, we went to IndoItaliano for dinner and then we went to this place called Zumbaland.  It was Mselle’s birthdays (one of the KCMC students) and he wanted us to meet them there to celebrate his birthday.  As always, he was on Tanzanian time and ended up being over an hour late, so we explored until he got there.  Katrina described the place perfectly—“Michael Jackson’s playground”.  There was a carnival/playground set up outside… and a bar inside. It was actually a pretty cool place; but I don’t think it is an ideal location for a playground.  After wishing Mselle a happy birthday, we decided to go to Glacier.  Glacier was a lot of fun and was filled with white people, just like last time.  We left around 11:30 to go home, and the plan is to go to Boma with mama tomorrow.

June 29:

We were supposed to go to Boma with mama today, but her mama is sick so she had to go and see her mama.  Her mama is 90 years old!! Which is crazy, because the life expectancy here is only 56 and 90 is even impressive for someone in developed countries.  So, Adrienne and I went back to bed, and around 10am I went to the school to workout.  I decided to go on a run by myself, and I managed to fall… again.  I kept getting lost, so I ended up running in a big circle 5 times.  I ran past the same 2 guards every single time, and finally I decided to turn around and just go back.  When I was 10 feet away from them, I tripped and my phone and wallet went flying.  The 2 guys ran up to me yelling “Pole sana, pole sana!” which means “Very sorry, very sorry!” (But really they were making fun of me).  It was actually pretty embarrassing.  After running, I went home to shower and Adrienne, Matt, Mike, and I went into town.  Today, we had our first authentic dala-dala experience.  We usually get on at KCMC (which is the first stop), but today we decided to get on by our houses.  It was sooooo crowded.  We had to stand up, and I was pretty much hanging out of the dala-dala.  When we first got on, we counted that there were 27 people in the back… and they still continued to stop for more passengers! *policy issue!!* (There are only 14 real seats on the dala-dala). We ended up getting off the dala-dala a couple stops early because we couldn’t take it anymore.  The first thing we did was meet up with Laura, Abby, Rebecca, and Becca for lunch.  We went to this place called Deli Chez which has everything.  There were over 250 items on the menu, and they had a chinese menu, Japanese menu, “fast-food” menu, and “scrumptious” menu.  I ordered a Hawaiian salad (which was described as salad with pineapple and chicken) and sizzling prawns.  The Hawaiian salad ended up being chicken salad spread on top of pineapples… so that was interesting.  I always forget that salad here is not the same thing as lettuce, like in the states.  The prawns were really good though!  They were served with seasoned vegetables and this really yummy rice.  We all also ordered milkshakes—which were delicious!  We’ve been trying to find milkshakes at every restaurant, and we finally found them today!  After lunch, we shopped around for a bit, went to Nakumatt (essentially a Wegman’s in Africa), and went to an internet café for a little.  I got the best juice ever there.  It was passion fruit/pineapple, and it was realllllly good.  When I got home, mama served chips maiya 2.0 and we’re just relaxing for the rest of the night.

June 30:

Today, I decided to sleep in (which means waking up at 9am).  I had nothing on the agenda for today, so I hung out with mama for the majority of the morning/afternoon. Mama cooked really good mandazi (the donut-like things minus the icing) in the morning, and she served it to Adrienne and me with our tea.  In the afternoon, Adrienne and Ume had to go somewhere for work, so it was just me with mama, Derike, and a house girl (I think)?  Mama taught me how to cook pilau.  It is actually a lot more complicated than I thought, but I think I’ll be able to do it after a couple attempts!  I played with Derike for a bunch in the afternoon, and I also decided to make my own Kiswahili phrasebook.  I don’t know why I didn’t think of making one in the beginning, but I’m glad I thought of doing it now!  I saw Mesha on his way home from church, and I asked him to help me out with the phrasebook.  I had the pilau mama cooked for lunch, and then I napped and read the rest of the afternoon.  When Adrienne got home, we finally celebrated mama’s birthday!  Birthday traditions are a little different here.  Mesha acted as an MC and narrated everything that was going on and as mama put it, was the “master of celebrations”.  We started off by singing to mama.  We sang in English, but the tune was a little different—and they sing the song twice.  Then, mama cut the cake.  Even the way they cut the cake here is different!  They cut a normal slice, but then they cut it into a lot of smaller pieces.  Tradition here is that mama feeds a small piece of cake to each of us, and then we each take turns feeding cake to mama.  Then, she cuts a full slice (then into mini pieces) for everyone, and we eat cake together and listen to music.  After the celebration, we all just hung out for a little while longer.

July 1:

Today, mama Denisia came to work to say goodbye to us.  She is taking her holiday now and won’t be returning to Longuo until August 1^st!  That’s kind of crazy—I don’t know what they’re going to do without her!  Because she was gone, Flora and Eva asked Grace, Rebecca, and I to teach the morning lesson.  It went better than expected, but it did not go as well as it did when mama Denisia was the one teaching.  Today, two new children were there—Monika and Eriki.  I’m not sure exactly what is wrong with both of them.  Monika kept grabbing my hand and closing her eyes really tightly—it kind of looked as though she were reading my palm/feeling my energy haha.  Then, she would grab my hand and rest it on her neck and not let me go.  I’m not sure what that was all about.  Eriki is the cutest little boy ever.  He is 6 years old, and was a lot of fun.  He obviously had his moments, but for the most part I think he is one of the better off kids.  We played soccer for a little bit, and drew pictures and ran around.  One of Eriki’s problems is that he likes to pee outside.  At least it’s not inside, but he refuses to go to the bathroom when he needs to pee.  When I got home from work, I slept for a long time and then Jeanne (the main professor for Global Health at Cornell and the head of the program) stopped by our homestay.  She came to say hi to mama and see how everything was going, but she also stayed and talked to Adrienne and me for a while, which was really nice.  When Jeanne left, we ate dinner and played with our rafiki.

July 2:

Today was very eventful, to say the least.  Denis, Dotto, Eriki, Elisia, Perpetua, and Heiness all came to Longuo today.  The morning started off with Eriki peeing in the dirt where we were all sweeping.  After sweeping, the children all brushed their teeth and when they were done brushing their teeth, Dotto started walking into the classroom.  She collapsed, fell very hard, and started seizing.  I’ve actually never seen someone have a seizure before, so that was scary.  Thank god for helmet, so she was okay after about 20 minutes.  During the morning lesson/singing, Denis started squirming in his chair and becoming very fidgety—we were unsure of why.  Soon, we discovered that he peed in his pants.  Mama Denisia and mama Eva took care of that, and changed his pants.  After the morning lesson, I did some running with Eriki and Heiness.  Eriki stopped running and peed in the dirt again!!!!  Then, I was see-sawing with Perepetua while Grace and Rebecca colored and played with the other children.  When Perpetua and I were done see-sawing, I learned that Denis peed in his pants again, and also threw up.  Denis peed in his pants 2 more times throughout the day, and pooped in his pants once.  Poor Denis.  He was definitely sick today—his snot was green and mucous-like.  He also kept putting his head on my shoulder and getting snot all over my shirt, so I used a lottt of hand sanitizer today.  Grace, Rebecca, and I decided to make them new signs for their lessons, and we are going to get them laminated on Thursday when we are done with them all.  Mama Denisia and mama Eva really appreciated that and kept saying “Safi sani!” which means “so great!”  When we left today, they gave us hugs and kisses and said they were very thankful for us.  It’s nice to know that they appreciate what we are doing for them, and that we aren’t in the way! 

June 23-25

June 23:

Today was nice and relaxing!  There was no stress about work due tomorrow, which was very relieving.  Adrienne and I still went to school early to have some internet time (so I uploaded a lot of pictures on Facebook if you want to check them out!  Around 11 o’clock, Hannah, Mike, Matt, Lodoe, and I went on a run around KCMC.  Of course I managed to trip on a rock and go flying on the rocky, dirt road—scraping my knee, hands, and elbow.  Not as bad as falling out of a van in the Philippines though…

After working out, I went home to shower.  Unfortunately, there was no tap water this morning, so mama couldn’t prepare new bucket showers.  I used a bucket from 3 days ago so it was freezing cold…. But a shower was necessary.  Then, we walked to Dr. Stacy’s house to do our reflection session.  Today, we just reflected on the course as a whole and gave our input in terms of strengths and weaknesses of the course, and improvements that could be made for future years.

After our reflection session, some of us went to Ume’s to watch a movie.  We watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and our Maasai friend (Hendry) came over to watch the movie with us.  Mama Mary (Ume’s mama) was knitting, and I asked her if she could teach me how to knit next week, so that will be exciting!!  I left Ume’s before the movie ended so that I could walk home before dark, and then Adrienne and I went to one of the neighbor’s houses to play with the kids.  Katrina gave Adrienne and I play-do and some jewelry that we could have to play with the kids.  We brought out the jewelry and the hair clips tonight, and the kids had fun with that! 

We had pilau and bananas for dinner.  As always, the pilau was delicious!  After dinner, Mesha came over to finish watching the end of Bridesmaids.  Derike wanted to watch the movie with us too, and it’s not like he could understand the words, so we let him.  We had to cover his eyes a lot though.

Now Adrienne and I are both in bed writing our blogs/journals.  We start our first day of work tomorrow and I’m super excited!!!! 

June 24:

Today I started my internship!  Around 8:30am, the people in my program who have local internships met Francis at KCMC to take a dala-dala into town together.  Adrienne and Ume are working at Kinshai (women and girls with HIV/AIDS), Hannah is working at NAFGEM (N--? against female genital mutilation), and Grace, Rebecca, and I are working at BCC (Building a Caring Community).  We got off near Kinshai to drop Adrienne and Ume off at their internship.  Francis was dropping everyone off at their sites, but he didn’t really know where he was going.  We had to keep asking around.  It was like the blind leading the blind.  We finally found it, then began our search for NAFGEM to drop Hannah off.  After her introductions, we went to the BCC main office, right outside of the Lutheran Church they work with.

We met four different people in the office, and ultimately Gertrude was the person who showed us around.  We told them what our objective for working with them was (learning how an NGO operates, and helping out with the kids and doing whatever else they needed us for) and then they told us a little bit about their organization’s mission.  BCC partners with Mosaic International (which is based in Nebraska, USA) and the IMPACT Alliance.  BCC’s mission is to help children with disabilities learn daily activities of living by providing them with therapeutic, educational, social, and nutritional supports in day centers.  The hope is that these children will learn special skills that will allow them to move on to vocational schools and learn job skills.  BCC also teaches families how to support their children, and allows parents the opportunity to work while their children are at the day centers.  There is also a preventative healthcare program which provides children with two general doctor visits, quarterly preventive healthcare exams, one vision exam, one dental exam, and any suggested medications each year.  Lastly, BCC provides in-home supports to those families with children who are unable to attend the day center, or whose needs are best met at home. 

Grace, Rebecca, and I are working in the day centers.  There are 11 centers in Moshi, and each one tends to up to 9 children.  We will be working at 4 centers over the next 4 weeks—one each week.  This week, we are working at “Longuo”.  It’s located right next to our homestays on KCMC road—about a 5-minute walk from my house, which is nice. On Wednesdays, the kids stay at home… so we only work 4 days a week, which is also nice.  Our workday is from 9am-3pm.

Today we missed the first part of the day because of orientation, and arrived at our site around teatime.  There are 3 caregivers in each center—at Longuo, their names are Denisia, Flora, and Eva.  Usually, there are 8 children in our center, but today there were only 5.  Apparently, the children have an educational learning session in the morning when they learn things such as colors, numbers, letters, and the names of various things.  In the afternoon, the activities are more specialized to the children’s specific needs.  For example, Dennis, a 7-year-old boy, is partially blind and hypersensitive (he hates touching things and he hates being touched), and he doesn’t speak.  In the afternoon, one of the caregivers forced him to stick his hands into a bowl of beads.  This went on for a while as Dennis struggled.  One thing that struck me: as Dennis was struggling and squirming, he kept accidentally kicking one of the girls.  The girl kept saying “ouch”, and the caregiver just laughed.  Finally, Rebecca and I moved the girl out of reach of Dennis’s kicking feet.  The girl’s name is Dotto.  She is 9-years-old and has epilepsy—she wears a helmet all times for when she unexpectedly collapses.  I think she was my favorite kid today.  She was so happy and her smile was absolutely contagious.  The other 3 kids were named Perpetua, Elisia, and Heiness (all girls).  Perpetua and Elisia have down-syndrome, and I’m not positive about Heiness. 

the classroom!

Swahili definitely came in handy today.  None of the caregivers speak English except for a few phrases here and there, and the children speak absolutely no English.  I was playing with Perpetua for the majority of the afternoon.  She’s 12.  We played with blocks for a little bit, and I would say a color and have her repeat after me.  I tried to ask her what her favorite color was, but she didn’t respond.  It was kind of hard to get the children to talk.  Only Elisia and Perpetua told me their age when I asked how old everybody was.  Dotto responded with something, but it definitely was not a number.  I’m not too sure what she said.  After colors, Perpetua and I went over numbers and played with play-doh.  She would randomly start laughing, and I would have no idea what she was laughing at but it was funny and made me laugh.  I also learned the Swahili version of “Head-shoulders-knees-and-toes-knees-and-toes—“.  It goes “Kichwa, mabega, kifua na tumbo, magoti vidole, magoti vidole… vidole, magoti, tumbo na kifua, mabega na kichwa, mabega na kichwa!”  That translates to: head, shoulders, chest and stomach, knees, toes, knees toes… toes, knees, stomach and chest, shoulders and head, shoulders and head.  I’ll sing it for you at home if you ask me to!  Elisia, Perpetua, and Heiness taught it to us with Denisia.  Elisia and Heiness also danced and sang another Swahili song, but I didn’t learn that one.

After playing and learning with the kids, it was lunchtime.  We were served wali maharagwe (rice, beans, and mboga), and ate with the kids.  While we were eating, a huge bug jumped on me.  I absolutely HATE bugs and wanted to jump out of my seat and scream, but I didn’t want to make a scene and freak out the kids.  As calmly as possible, I flicked the bug off my leg with my plate.  My banana went flying, but Dotto and Perpetua found that hilarious and they both started cracking up.

When we were done eating lunch, we helped everyone clean up, and then the caregivers pulled mattresses out for the kids to take naps.  When the kids laid down for their naps, we left.  All the caregivers were sooooo sweet!  They didn’t want us to leave and they were so grateful for our presence and help.  I’m really excited to go back again tomorrow and the rest of the week.

The rest of my evening consisted of working out with Grace and Ume, sharing stories with Adrienne, talking with Mama, drinking tea, and eating dinner.  Mama made a pasta dish with onions, carrots, and peppers and we also had bananas and avocados.  After dinner, mama gave us Chapati, which I reluctantly ate because I already had a food baby.  Now I’m going to bed and I get to sleep in tomorrow J Tomorrow is also mama’s birthday!  

June 25:

Today was probably the worst day of me being abroad so far.  I woke up around 5am with an awful stomachache.  I didn’t have to be awake for another 3 hours, so I tried to go back to sleep but I had a tough time doing so.  Adrienne woke up around 7, so I decided to have tea with her.  Mama also made Chapati (which, keep in mind, is my favorite) but I couldn’t even try to eat it.  When Adrienne left for work, I laid back in bed until around 8:40am, quickly got dressed, and met Grace and Rebecca at 8:50am.  I did not care what I looked like at all today.

We helped Mama Denisia (one of the caregivers) do a little bit of sweeping and mopping of the facility until the kids started getting there.  Today, only Elisia, Heiness, and Perpetua showed up.  The rest of the kids were sick.  When the three girls showed up, we helped them sweep the dirt path.  (Everyone here keeps the dirt clean—it’s really weird, but that’s one of the chores the kids learn at Longuo).  After the dirt path was all cleaned up, the girls brushed their teeth.  When they were done brushing their teeth, they had their morning education session.  Each child has their name on the wall with a list of chores they do each day. Elisia, Perpetua, and Heiness took turns going up to the wall and taking down the chores they had already completed.  Next, they took turns saying what the day was (Thursday—Jumanne), what the caregiver’s mood today was (Furaha—happy), and what the weather was like outside (Mawingu—cloudy).  After each child got those 3 items correct, they took turns placing the letters ‘j’ ‘u’ ‘m’ ‘a’ ‘n’ ‘n’ and ‘e’ on a sheet of paper that had each of the letters outlined.  This activity made me realize the extent of the children’s difficulties.  Elisia was the only one who could do this activity with ease.  Mama Denisia was aiding the other two, but they were having a lot of trouble.  They kept putting the letters upside down or sideways on the paper even though the outline was there.  They also kept picking up the wrong letter to use to begin with.  Mama Denisia would say “the green one”, but they would still pick up the wrong letter even though there was only one green one.

When these activities were completed, Mama Denisia said a long prayer out loud.  This prayer was followed by singing, dancing, clamping, maraca-shaking, and bell ringing.  I think this was my favorite part of the day.  Elisia sang along with Denisia, and she was standing up and dancing which was so cute.  Eventually, Heiness joined her… but Perpetua stayed seated the whole time.  Mama Denisia has a very nice singing voice and I wish I had taken a video of the kids.  Maybe I will on Thursday.

As much as I loved the performance, it was so difficult for me to stay seated upright.  My stomach was still killing me and the only thing I could do to make it feel better was hunch over.  The kids were served porridge (Uji) and we were served tea with bread, but I couldn’t even stomach the bread.  Eventually, I decided I would tell Mama Denisia that I wasn’t feeling well and I asked if I could go home.  She was really nice about it, and let me go without hesitation. 

About 10 minutes after I crawled into bed, Adrienne showed up at home.  She was surprised to see me but when I told her I left work early because I was feeling sick, she said she was feeling sick too!  The two of us napped for about 7 hours today.  At one point, mama yelled for me from outside my room, asking me to come eat some lunch.  When I walked out of the room, she immediately asked if I was sick.  I said I was, but that I would try to eat food anyway.  I tried eating a couple bites of a banana but my body wasn’t happy about that decision.  I told mama I was going back to sleep and would maybe try to eat later. 

A little bit later, Derike started throwing up too.  Mama panicked a little bit and cleaned the whole bathroom, and cancelled her birthday plans for tonight (she was going to have friends come over to celebrate her birthday).  I felt bad about that, but with Derike sick too, it was the best decision to make.  Mama made us porridge and tea, and boiled us hot water for showering.  Luckily, Adrienne had a lot of different medicine with her so I was able to take something.  I’m pretty sure I have a fever right now, but I’m hoping it goes away by the morning.